In My Life
by azure orbis
Summary: Some lessons are sweet, others are harder to swallow. The hardest are those lessons learned in life for they are the ones that never change, no matter how much you wish they would. Those regarding love and death are no exception.
1. A Sound Invitation

In My Life

Chapter One: A Sound Invitation

Summary: In life, people come and go. But when you love someone, you are never really alone, even if the one you love is gone.

Alternative Summary: Some lessons are sweet, others are harder to swallow. The hardest are those lessons learned in life for they are the ones that never change, no matter how much you wish they would. Those regarding love and death are no exception.

A/N- The title comes from the Beatles song, "In My Life". It fits this fiction, although this is not a songfic.

_08/16/05- Added section to chap 1_

_08/18/05- Minor editing - I'm a glutton for revising things._

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_Prologue_

Night fell. The shadows crept from their hiding spots and grew bold with the sinking sun. Soon, they would rule the land. A young man stood motionless like a statue, the thought of an important decision weighed heavily on his mind. He was still a boy by many standards, but for his eyes that had seen too much bloodshed and his hands that held countless weapons, he could have been easily called an old man from his experiences. A seasoned warrior, although it was not the battles he cared to remember anymore, he was about to embark on a path that could lead him to odds with comrades he would rather have fight beside him. Evil, they called him, but that incarnate of evil was also his only hope of gaining strength and he needed strength. Still, he shivered at the thought of joining him, that snake of a human. Indecision plagued him even as he remembered those terrifying ruby eyes.

As he stared off into the darkness, he could feel the light breeze play with the dark strands of his hair. He knew that he would probably never be allowed to come back here unless he were to be caught in the future- a distinct possibility since he would officially become a missing nin the moment the Fifth heard about his desertion. It was true that Konoha was home, but what kind of home is void of family or friends? If such a place can still be called a home, it is a poor one indeed. And so Konoha was for a long time, a place that meant nothing to him until he was placed on his team with the world's biggest loudmouth and one of the obnoxious girls with the biggest "crush" on him. And as strange as it might sound in his own mind, he had befriended them, despite their flaws; their _many_ flaws.

It could be said that Konoha felt like home again. There was now something to look forward to for the future like what he might be doing and the plans he could make. For the first time in years, Sasuke was looking toward the future and not to the past. He was effectively moving on, in his own slow, belated manner and perhaps he could have somehow adjusted to a normal person who smiled when he was happy and frowned when he was not. Anything other than that emotionless, expressionless _thing_ that supposedly represented his face. And he probably would have achieved that simple but nonetheless, difficult task if his past didn't come barreling back in with the person he hated most.

_Itachi_

It had to be the singularly most disgusting name he could have scrawled in his mind.

_Weasel (2)._ _Yeah, that name is prefect for him. Absolutely._

With that one word that his "brother" was back, all of Sasuke's fragile dreams of having a semblance of happiness crumpled as with the possibility of just letting go. That past had come back to haunt him and this time, it seemed as if "brother dear" was targeting Naruto.

Now, he knew how it must look with him running around looking for someone he didn't really "care" about: It looked like either the Uchiha prodigy cracked finally and was actually a softie under all those thick layers of antisocial barriers. Or the alternative version which was far more entertaining in his view, that he was secretly in love with the blonde loudmouth who liked to challenge him at every corner. Yes, that was likely to happen.

The truth was that he wanted to challenge his brother ever since that accursed day Itachi allowed him to live. Little Sasuke was finally getting a shot at his beloved sibling and perhaps this time, he could pay him back for all the misery he caused him. But to say that it didn't matter that it was Naruto, one of his two teammates, who was being targeted by Itachi, would be calling Sasuke inhuman. He too had feelings, even though for the most, they were usually pride, revenge, hatred, distrust and all the lovely things that a complete family massacre could bring to a nine year old. But back to the point, he did care about that idiot. Not a lot, but he cared enough and he didn't want anyone to challenge his arch-rival except him. Naruto couldn't even be called his arch-rival if he went around challenging everyone he met on the street. There wouldn't be any meaning to the word anymore! And so, if he could show off his nifty lightning trick, defeat his brother and save the world at the same time, why not?

If only it could be so easily done. It was a shock to see his brother again, even though he had tried to prepare himself mentally for it. The same blank stare of those chilling red eyes. The special Sharingan that Itachi had activated with the murder of his best friend. Just looking at him made Sasuke's blood boil but deep down, he was scared stiff. This was the man who killed the entire Uchiha clan single-handedly and without even a scratch on him. But what was worse, was the reason he killed everyone for. _Wanting to test himself_, he said. It had to be one of the craziest answers Sasuke had ever heard, but because of that desire to see just how great he was, Itachi killed everyone. It made no sense.

And now, he was running. Running away from all the progress the last six months and the dreams he had built up in the interim. His thoughts shifted from maybe accepting his past to revenge once more. It was like trying to shut out the sunlight that had once illuminated his life and crawling back into the black hole of loneliness and hatred. His heart screamed in pain, having reawakened from its long slumber only to be forced asleep again. For once in the longest time, Sasuke had smiled. It was a hesitant and possibly the smallest in recorded history, but it was genuine and with feeling. Like a flower blossoming anew in the spring, he was now forcing himself to wilt for a self-imposed winter.

His path led to Orochimaru, one of the prime enemies of his homeland and he was going to the infamous villain for possibly the most selfish and ignoble reason possible: For power. It wasn't that he was power-hungry or anything. Well, maybe just a little; for what kind of person is wholly without the lust for absolute power? Sasuke's need for power stemmed from his disastrous defeat by his gifted brother. He was still able to defeat Sasuke soundly. After all that training with his genius teacher, Sasuke was still soundly defeated by his brother. It was almost as psychologically damaging as the torture his brother put him through with those dreaded eyes of his. After all these years, his brother was still better.

He locked the front door and placed the key in his right pocket, out of habit. It was not likely that he would need it again, but the feeling of the metal key in his pocket was familiar and somewhat comforting in its own small way. A small pang of guilt kept nagging at his mind as he thought of his teammates and what their reaction would be to his departure. Disbelief, shock, anger and denial perhaps. Anger from that idiot. Denial from the other one. The rest of the village could have the remainder emotions.

He softened at the thought of leaving his teammates, his friends. That was probably the part that was holding him back. If it weren't for them and his connections to them, he would have nothing holding him back. A part of him cursed them for making these bonds with him and not letting him fulfill his task, but another part blessed them for having done so. The loneliness was starting to get too much and even in his constant hate-driven mode, he was not too blind to feel slighted when others shied away from him, even though it was usually subtle. He envied those who had parents and friends to play with while he had none. And now that he had people who were important to him, was he really going to throw it all away for something that happened years ago?

He sighed deeply, looking around his surrounding once more before leaving the Uchiha estate. The last time he would see it, unless he sneaked back sometime later. The darken road beckoned, leading out of the protected area. It was the road to a different future and so he started walking down it, one step at a time.

* * *

To say that he was surprised would be an understatement. In his wildest dreams or nightmares, Sasuke never would have expected to see a pink-haired girl professing her love for him in the middle of a deserted road at midnight. If it was any other way, some might call it romantic. That is, if the person professing their emotions was not crying hysterically at the same time. Sasuke really wanted to brush her off. This, like the other previous times, only served to annoy him not set him thinking about dating or heaven forbid, marrying this girl. She was irrational, incompetent and very hard-of-hearing. When a person says, "You're annoying", it does not (under any circumstances) translate to "I think you're hot. Let's go out." And yet, he might as well be saying something like that to the bunch of air-headed girls who called themselves "Sasuke's fangirls." All of them- insane. 

But the things she was saying...they were very disturbing as in, well if he admitted to himself, he would have to admit that he had also thought about settling down in the future; the far, very far future. Still, the fact that he had thought about it and the fact that girls matured earlier than boys would make sense that she thought about it too...wouldn't it? Gah! This was getting him nowhere. He was supposed to be leaving the village under cover of darkness, not try to reason with a lovesick teammate to let him go! Still, something about her words compelled him to linger, if just for a moment longer, to listen to her. He could always leave afterwards.

"I love you so much Sasuke! So please stay with me!" Sakura begged the silent Uchiha.

Sasuke grew annoyed with her and her pleadings. "How is it possible that you can say that you love me!" He finally demanded.

Sakura was taken aback by Sasuke's sudden outburst. Normally Sasuke barely spoke more than ten words at a time and rarely was there any emotion behind those few words. "I can't explain it. Sometimes, that's just how love is. But I do know that I love you so much that there is nothing I would not do for you."

"Even die?" Sasuke asked skeptically.

"Even die." Sakura replied earnestly, missing the hint of sarcasm in Sasuke's voice.

Sasuke shook his head in frustration, gesturing wildly, "This isn't love. It's an obsession, pure and simple." Sakura stared at him dumbfounded. "Men want my skills, women want my body." He muttered to himself in disgust. He turned to her, "It's the same with you." He said accusingly.

"No, that's not it." Sakura blurted out hastily before she really had time to process what he said. Maybe she _was_ obsessed with him and only because of his looks. It is true that based solely on personality that Sasuke was not that appealing of a person…No! She didn't like him just because of his looks, she also—

"Then what is it? What is it that you want from me?" His irritation rose in his voice.

"I want to know what you're thinking."

"What I'm thinking?" He asked, completely confused.

"I want to know what you're thinking wh-while you're drinking tea. I want to know why you don't like sweets or natto(2). I want to know what goes inside your mind. I want to know you, Sasuke-kun." Sasuke snorted, what an absurd notion; getting to know someone. He turned around, shouldering his backpack and started to head out of the village.

He stopped when a heavy hand clamped onto his shoulder. "Wait just a second!" The kunoichi demanded. Sasuke sighed; she couldn't take a hint, could she? He didn't want to resort to force, but if he had to, so be it. "Why are you doing this? Will revenge really make everything better?" Looking at his face, she knew she hit a sensitive spot. "You were happy here, so why are you leaving everything behind for something that you know will end in disaster?" Sakura persisted. Sasuke remained silent.

Seeing his hesitation, she continued in a coaxing tone, "Forget about revenge. It won't make your parents come back. They would not want you to spend the rest of your days miserable and alone."

"They would want me to avenge their deaths." Sasuke rebutted, stubbornly. He shrugged off her hand and started to leave only to find the persistent girl in front of him, blocking his exit.

"Not if it meant betraying Konoha," she clamped both hands onto his shoulders, immobilizing him and stared meaningfully into his eyes, hoping to make him understand. "Do you know what that means? It means that there's a great chance you will never be let back into the place of your birth and that the name of Uchiha will be forever hated and scorned. And that fear and hatred will last because there will be no more Uchihas to prove themselves as loyal citizens." She paused, "Is that what you want?" He shook his head vigorously. He had not thought of the consequences of his actions, only to the part where he would gain that immense power and finish the oath he had made years ago to himself.

Unsure of what exactly she should do next, Sakura took a hold of his hand. A part of her was giddy to be holding hands with Sasuke, but she quelled down the triumphant and high-pitched squeal that threatened to spill out. Instead she tugged on his arm, wordlessly leading him home. When he didn't move, she turned and looked at him.

"Where are we going?" Sasuke asked, sounding tired as if he just fought a long and arduous battle.

"Home," She answered simply, still pulling him gently. He followed without complaint.

"Home?" The word sounded foreign in his mouth and in his mind.

"My home." She clarified.

"Your home?" Sakura thought she heard a slight tremor in his voice. Was he scared?

"I'm not letting you go back to that lonely place of yours." She glanced at him quickly and was surprised to see something akin to gratitude in his eyes. She turned her eyes forward, seeing something other than the cool-guy attitude on Sasuke was a bit unnerving, "Besides I'm sure I can convince my parents to let you stay in the living room." He nodded and continued to follow her.

"What about tomorrow?" He asked after a while.

"Tomorrow? Tomorrow, we'll go see Kakashi-sensei…" Sakura trailed off. In truth she had not thought as far as the next day. All her mind was concentrated on was keeping Sasuke in Konoha and to prevent him from leaving. Beyond that, she wasn't so sure.

"And the Hokage." Sasuke added firmly. Sakura looked at him, questioningly. Did he really want to see the leader of the village less than 24 hours after he almost betrayed it?

"The Hokage too, then." She agreed, seeing his determined face. Although it was his idea, he looked more pale than usual at the thought of explaining his near abandonment to two of the strongest people they knew. "Don't worry, I'll explain everything," she squeezed his hand in reassurance. He cracked a small smile. She held onto his hand still, afraid that if she let go, he would disappear into the nightly shadows.

Suddenly he stopped, halting Sakura suddenly. "You'll continue helping me…won't you Sakura?"

She nodded in assent, knowing how hard it was for this proud person to ask for help. "It's a promise." He nodded to himself, and together they continued to walk slowly in the darkened streets toward a small lighted household.

Sasuke hesitated entering the small but cozy home. He almost felt like an intruder when he heard sudden rustles of clothes from within, a sure indication of anxious parents awaiting their child. Sakura waited for him inside, holding the door. Taking a deep breath, he stepped across the threshold and closed the door behind him, shutting out the cool night air. Perhaps this was the road he was meant to take instead.

(1) Itachi means "weasel." I didn't know that info until recently and it seems like an odd choice of a name, but who am I to judge?

(2) Fermented beans. It's mentioned that Sasuke doesn't care for these in the episode where Itachi first appears, episode 81. This should be it for footnotes, don't plan to do many.

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A/N- Warning, there is character death ahead. As for pairings, it will be clear later on. Oh and no offense to any sasuxnaru fans that might have wandered in. I'm not quite sure exactly what age Sasuke was when the Uchiha massacre was, if anyone knows- tell me please? Review and criticize please. 


	2. Come, Say Farewell

In My Life  
By Azure Orbis

A/N- Finally, chapter two is up. My apologies for the delay, but without inspiration, writing is like sloshing through a pool of molasses; in other words it's really slow-going.

**Warning: CHARACTER DEATH, don't say I didn't warn you.**

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Chapter Two: Come, Say Farewell

"_Is this the first time you saw a friend die?"- Haku_

I remember the time Naruto told me some of the Haku's last words, a formidable ninja we fought while we were still novice genins. He told me that as he watched Sasuke die, something inside him broke. At that moment, after watching a comrade fall to protect him, he became someone else, something else. It would be many years before he understood the terrible power inside him and even more before he learned to come to terms with it and control it.

This was our first mission as a team and it was also the first time we dealt with death. And I suppose, for that reason, that first mission is etched so clearly in my memory. No one forgets their first mission where people die.

There was also something about the young boy, who was about our age, that struck me as odd. At the time, I couldn't understand how he could work willingly for someone as evil as his master. No matter how lonely he was, it made no sense to me. How could he love someone so evil that he was willing to give up his life for him?

Not until years later, when I would personally see that the black and white of the world were not painted nearly as clearly as I once thought, would I understand that everything is actually a shade of gray. There was no absolute good, nor was there absolute evil. There were only reasons and justifications, but in the end, these were all for the purpose of living. We do the things we do to live. That is the basic goal of every living organism: to survive.

And we survived, all of us. Every last single one of the rookie nine lived through harrowing missions and hopeless battles to be promoted and become the heroes we never knew we wanted to be. I suppose if you counted Gai's team, it was the rookie twelve and we were lucky. By brush of luck and skill, we lived and we were the best. At least, we were boasted and bragged about Konoha as the best generation since long ago. Yes, we were the best and nothing could dampen our spirits. Nothing, except the inevitable fate that awaits us all. No matter how good a shinobi we were, we all end up the same; dead. Whether in battle or lying in bed, sick and old, the end is something inescapable. In time, the group of twelve would shrink. Little by little, the pictures of us would show how time slowly changed us; our smiling faces turned thin and somber.

The thing about pictures is that they lie. Pictures capture a single moment in time and for that moment, everything is still and perfect. It is after the picture is taken when the tears flow and the heartbreak is shown. No one cries during a picture because it is something we look back to see how happy we were. It is a kind of self-delusion where we stare at the young and unmarred faces and say we did not appreciate the time we had. Now, older, wiser and graver, we can only look back wistfully and wish the future will be better for all, for the ones to come and for ourselves. In hindsight, the past always seems better than it was. Perhaps it's a coping device for past tragedies or the ones that haven't happened yet because no matter how much we were told to expect it, no matter how much mental and emotional training we receive, witnessing the first death of a personal friend and comrade is always a shock.

We look forward to the future, but never _that_ far ahead. Death is never part of the equation, only an afterthought inserted at the last minute. The future only holds happiness, we bravely and somewhat foolishly say. Perhaps because we don't want to believe and because we don't believe, perhaps it will never happen. There can't be an end in sight and death is only a myth to scare young children into obedience. We brush it off, this fear of death and of an ending, thinking that life will go on forever as it is. The thought is that life can't end, not if we wish it hard enough.

But it happens and the first terrible day came to pass with you. You were the first to go. You were the first to leave the group. You were the first to go on ahead of us all.

You died on the fourth day, on the twentieth of the 5th month, on a mission as you always thought you would. We had not even reached our destination when we were ambushed and you rushed off to be hero as you usually would. You wanted to save the day and you did. Only this time, you wouldn't come back out with a satisfied smiled on your face and a few scratches to show for your pains and I would not be able to wrap you up again, see those wounds slowly heal up, see you become whole again.

I remember this particular mission as clearly as though it was just yesterday, although it was over five years ago. Still, I never thought the day would come when Haku's words came to pass. You were more than a friend, you were my life. And with your passing, I felt my heart dry up and wither.

There would be no more chances for me to tell you how much I cared for you. There would be no more days where I would see you smiling again. There would be no more life as I once knew it. There would be nothing left, because a world without you made a hole, an endless void where we used to be. There is nothing left. I can't go on without you. Where do I go from here? What do I do? What kind of life can I have with you gone from the world? Why were you taken from me?

* * *

"This client of ours is such a brat!" A younger comrade whispered ahead. Sakura giggled quietly at the rude comment. 

"I know. She has to be carried around everywhere like she's made of porcelain or something." Her teammate whispered back.

A dark sedan was specially ordered for the girl to ride in. Carried by two of her henchmen, the sedan swayed gently side to side as it moved. The leader of the mission was extremely displeased to see the sedan, stating that it would slow down the group considerably. However, the client said that she could not undertake the journey by foot. They had argued long and hard until an uncomfortable compromise was met by the client walking part of the day and sat in the covered sedan for the rest of it. The captain huffed, saying the compromise was not a compromise at all, but kept silent, glaring at the sedan occasionally.

Sakura turned to the man beside her, "Shouldn't we say something?"

Sasuke sighed, "Fine, I'll talk to them at the next rest stop."

Sakura smiled when he slyly slipped his hand into hers, blushing at the gentle touch of his rough hands, calloused from handling weapons all his life. He tried to look stoic and continue walking on calmly as if he held hands with her his whole life, but soon his face was pink too. Sakura laughed quietly and he joined her, his hand still holding hers firmly, refusing to let go this time.

Sakura was in heaven. This was the second time they held hands and it was even sweeter because he was the one to initiate it. After waiting for what seemed like forever, Sakura was overly cautious about pushing Sasuke in their relationship. She did not want to overwhelm him and so let him handle such things as slow as he wanted to. It didn't matter to her that he seemed to avoid human touch. As long as he cared for her, she would be satisfied. And in time, she would help him and his ground-in reactions acclimate to not jumping every time she surprised him with a hug or shirking away from her hand whenever it landed on his arm or his shoulder.

The first time he grasped her hand was a shock to them both. He fumbled and let go almost immediately, apologizing for his sudden behavior. Sakura tried to reassure him that it was okay, but his pale face was so red and embarrassed that she decided to pretend that nothing had happened. He was her Sasuke. Definitely not the perfect person she once envisioned him as, but he was her love and now that he returned it, everything was perfect.

There was a great deal of smiling and laughing between the two as they walked swiftly, keeping time with the rest of the large group. Sasuke's face would still occasionally turn flame-red, but he still held on to her hand firmly.

Naruto bounded toward the back, evidently with something to share with the two. When he saw their clasp hands quickly let go, he tried to hide his look of pain. He did so quickly, but it did not escaped Sasuke's notice. His attentive eyes caught the look of disappointment in Naruto's eyes before it quickly disappeared. Sasuke glanced at Sakura to see if she noticed, she was far too blissful to see anyone else but the person walking next to her. Sasuke made a mental note to talk to her and to him later when he had the chance. Naruto chatted away blithely as if he did not see Sasuke release Sakura's hand almost immediately when he saw him. Sakura half-listened while Sasuke mulled over the new dynamics of the team; he did not want this new development to ruin their long-standing team.

"Captain told me to tell you that we're nearing the half point!" Naruto added cheerfully, his hands clasped behind his neck, he laughed a little at nothing in particular. It was a bitter laughter that Sasuke knew too well.

"That's great. Thanks for telling us," Sakura replied, smilingly. Naruto left the two, walking faster to catch up to the leaders of the group. Sasuke wanted to stop Naruto and talk to him then and there. He wanted to have this whole thing out in the open. He didn't like the tension he could already feel rippling in the air between the three of them, but since they would rest at the half point, he decided to speak to Naruto there.

Everything went well and then, everything went wrong.

A scream ripped through the quiet, tense atmosphere. The sudden copper smell of blood filled the air.

"We're under attack! Scatter!" The warning rang out sharply, breaking the calm of the warm afternoon. The two separated quickly, sprinting away to face off with the still unseen enemy.

"You six, stay here and guard her with your life," The captain ordered quickly before joining the fray.

"Understood!" The six said in union, four spreading out in circular formation while two guarded the clothed sedan to better protect their target.

"What's going on?" A timid voice asked from inside the sedan. "Why have we stopped?"

"We're under attack. Stay inside, keep quiet and we will protect you," someone answered gruffly, before deflecting a flying projectile with his kunai blade.

"Attack? Will we be okay?" The girl asked, the rising panic evident in her trembling voice.

"We'll be fine. Just stay put in there, okay?" The second guard replied, more kindly, hoping to dissuade the girl's fears. Meanwhile, the four guarding the perimeter had moved off a short distance to meet the attackers. They wore no headbands, the dark clothes they donned could be from any nation and with the black clothes covering most of their faces, they made themselves unidentifiable. He swore, there was no way to predict what attacks they would use and there was still the unanswered question of how many of these unmarked ninjas were there. Maybe there were few, maybe there were many. There were too many maybes.

_My feelings stayed the same. I truly believe, then and now, that I loved this boy who awed me with his strength, his bravery and most of all his kindness, which was often hidden behind a curtain of cold indifference._

Sakura fought, neither bravely nor cowardly. There was no cowardice in staying alive nor was there bravery in death. Instead of charging in head-first and showing off all of her jutsus like she would have three years ago, she feinted weakness. Let her opponent think she was a weak kunoichi, an easy target with pink hair. Let her opponent underestimate her and when his weakness was exposed, that was when she would pounce like a hungry tiger.

Her opponent was blindsided by her genjustsu and in a flash, she was behind him, slitting his throat cleanly with her knife. His warm blood gushed over her hands, making them slick and sticky. A few years ago, she would have trembled just thinking about taking another life, but now older and battle-hardened, taking life was only another part of being a shinobi. It was neither glorious nor as grim or impossible as she once thought it to be. Nothing is impossible once you get your hands dirty and after the first time, you learn to shut out the death-squeeze on your heart with every life you take. This is possible because it is killed or be killed and that is what you remember when you deal the final blow. It's either your life or his.

She looked up, surveying the battle to see where she could be most effective when she noticed the six guards assigned to protect their client were almost all dead. A scream ripped through the air and the last man was down too. Sakura wanted to turn away from the bloody scene before her and she would have when she recalled that there was no one protecting the girl- open wide to attack and without protection, the civilian girl would not last long in this chaotic fight. One loose weapon carelessly thrown and her life would be over.

"SASUKE! THE GIRL!" She cried, rushing toward the sedan where she was certain the girl was still cowering in fear. Then to her horror, a small body darted out of the dark cloth. The idiotic girl had decided to run for her life.

Shit, Sakura swore. It would have better if she stayed in one spot. She kept on running toward the girl, the cut she sustained on her lower thigh slowed her down. She swore again as another faceless, black-clothed opponent dropped down from nowhere in front of her. He was here to delay her so that someone else could finish off the girl. Her eyes narrowed in annoyance. She had no time to stay and gauge this person's fighting power. They both knew that if he could stop her long enough, then the real fight would be over, the girl would be slain and the mysterious ninjas would disappear.

The girl stopped moving, huddling beside the dead guards who were supposed to protect her. If the girl had any sense, she would have known that that was the worst place she could have stopped. Staying in the sedan would have at least given her some covering and that could be the difference between a kunai between the eyes or on a less vital spot. Sakura decided to finish off her opponent quickly. No more feints this time. All that mattered was that she did this quickly and efficiently.

She stared at her opponent for a long minute, contemplating what kind of attack she should use. While she pondered, she could swear her opponent was _smiling_ at her under that mask, as if he knew that anything she threw at him would be futile because he was so superior in strength and ninjustus.

She ran towards him in a headlong fashion as if she was about to launch a foolish frontal attack, something done commonly by inexperienced rookies and novices. She darted into the bushes in the last minute, quickly making the signs for one of her most powerful genjutsus. The idiot had not moved, not even while she came barreling at him and deflected to the side at the last minute. All the better for her, she thought as she finished the last seal. His life was over anyways.

She moved towards him and they clashed with a grunt, his hand stopping the kunai she was going to use. Her eyes widened in surprise. Had her technique missed? Did she forget one of the 56 seals? It was a newer one and she hadn't gotten the chance to use it many times, so it was quite possible. Still, that didn't matter. Her opponent was evidently not entrapped and the girl was still out in the open without protection.

A flash of navy blue clothes darted past her, heading toward the girl.

She sighed in relief, Sasuke had come at last. Her attention was yanked back to her opponent as he slowly pushed her backwards with pure physical strength. They broke apart and she readied her weapons for a physical attack. Now, she had a little bit of time to test and play with her opponent.

The twang of what sounded like many bows filled the air. Something in her made Sakura turn her attention back toward the girl and the man drawing near her, the man she loved. It was a fatal mistake, to be distracted during a battle and yet, her opponent did not strike her.

The whistling sounds of countless arrows filled the air, rushing swiftly to close the distance between them and their target: a young girl surrounded by many dead.

The arrows hit him, each one burying themselves into his body. Still, he had made it in time, having pushed the girl against a small mound of bodies and using himself as a human shield, she had not received a single wound yet. Not bad for someone who was half a battlefield away when he heard someone crying his name. And the arrow wounds were easily treatable. They were small and if the medics were still alive, then they could heal him quickly. He would be back on his feet and fighting in no time.

Then he stumbled, a troubled look on his face. Something was not right.

Sasuke flew like a bird through the air and flung himself in front of the target to protect her from the flying arrows. Each of the countless arrowheads hit their mark, each with a sickening thud. Sakura almost wanted to smile. Couldn't he find a different, less painful way to save people? She could see the satisfaction in his eye, even from this far away. He would recover easily from those small wounds; she had seen him come back even from the brink of death.

She turned back to her opponent and saw why he hadn't attacked her; he was too busy being occupied by another leaf nin. Sakura wanted to go and help when out of the corner of her peripheral vision, she saw Sasuke stumble. He shouldn't be stumbling after arrow wounds, especially not with the special chakra armor he wore under his clothes during battle. Something was wrong.

Sakura found herself sprinting toward him before she even knew it. His body was swaying in the wind like a bent blade of grass, ready to break.

She caught him before he fell, landing heavily on the ground.

"Sasuke!" She cried as she cradled his head with her arms, like the many times before. "What's wrong?" His blood intermingled with those of the dead, staining the once-dry ground a dark maroon red.

_He shouldn't be bleeding like this, not with such small wounds. What was going on?_

"Sakura…nothing can be done…the arrows…they're poisoned…" He stopped as a terrible cough shook his body. He realized the fact almost immediately; his body seemed to be fighting against him. He wondered how long he had left.

"No…" she said desperately. Salty tears blinded her as she recklessly plucked the arrows out. She had to get these horrible things out of his body, maybe then- Sasuke cried out in pain, stopping her. Oh gods, this could not be happening.

She pressed down against the wounds, her basic first aid skills doing very little to staunch the flow; the blood continued to ooze out of his wounds at an alarming rate. There was just so much blood and it wouldn't stop! Sakura started to panic, but calmed herself slightly because she had to save him. She had to.

"Medic!" She screamed, "Medic! Sasuke's down, we need you! Where are you!" She cried in vain.

She turned her attentions back to him. "Oh kami-sama, there's so much blood," she whispered, deathly afraid for him. "Don't worry, I'm sure they'll be here soon. You'll be alright, just hang onto me, okay?" She tried to keep up a brave face for him, unsure if the two medics were still fighting or if they were still alive.

A drop trickled down her face and splashed onto his. Smiling, he tenderly wiped her already wet cheeks.

"Don't cry Sakura-chan…" he whispered. _Sakura-chan_, he started calling her that ever since he told her the truth.

The poison quickly coursed throughout his body, using his own circulation system against him. Each word he spoke cost him, but he had to say what was needed. If he didn't, she might never find happiness again. He broke out into a cold sweat; his blood was already slowing down. Everything was growing cold.

"Sakura…" his voice was filled with a strange urgency, although he would not look directly at her as he spoke. "Sakura…Naruto is a good man…you should consider him…"

"Naruto?" She asked completely confused, everything else momentarily forgotten. She shook her head, "No, he doesn't care for me like that anymore. Besides you shouldn't talk like that especially after what happened. You can't…" The cries choked her off.

This couldn't be happening. He wasn't dying. This couldn't be happening. No.

Sasuke smiled up at her, remembering his bumbling confession to Sakura that he had feelings for her a short two months ago and how they held hands on this mission for the first time and how they blushed furiously. How he cherished the feeling of his hand on hers. He grasped onto her hand hard, not wanting to let go. Even as fond memories flooded his brain, Sasuke could feel his limbs go cold and finally grow numb. Summoning his last bit of strength, he reached up with his other hand to touch his beloved's face. He didn't want to say goodbye so quickly, not after it took him so long to finally find her.

"Sakura-chan…I-I love you…" he breathed and with that, his arm fell limp and his eyes rolled back to reveal white.

Sakura fell on him crying. Not like this, please, not like this.

The older medic arrived, laying a hand on Sakura's back. She sat up, startled to see another human being. The world had turned gray and now, was there hope?

The medic saw wild hope leap to life in Haruno's eyes. She bent down, taking the Uchiha's pulse, already knowing there was little hope, but she wanted to be sure. She looked back at the young woman, shaking her head sadly. This kind of poison was extremely potent, thickening and stopping the blood. There was no known antidote.

Sakura cried, this time not softly but loudly, forgetting she was still in a battle and that attracting attention could mean death.

"Haruno-san, please stop that. We need to get the girl to safety first," the medic tugged at the sobbing kunoichi.

Sakura raised her head, no longer were her eyes full of sorrow but of rage and irrational anger. That girl, it was because of her that Sasuke was dead. She should kill her for that. She advanced toward the girl with murderous intent. The girl cringed, frightened and already curled up into a protective ball. Sakura stopped. What was she doing? This girl was not responsible for Sasuke's death. He would have died on a mission sooner or later. If not now, then some time in the future. But he was already dead. There was no sooner or later; the path was already chosen, the destiny already writ.

She crawled back to his side. His paler-than-death skin made her weep for the future they could not have any more. They had just begun to think of life together and now, it was over in a heartbeat. He was stolen from her, their life together was broken, the dream had ended.

She hugged his cold body, wishing death would come and claim her too. She felt the medic tug at her again, but she held on, her grip stronger than death, stronger than love, stronger than fear. There was no life without Sasuke, no light, no hope, no love.

Walls of earth rose up and formed a small protective bubble, shielding the three people inside of it. Sakura held on, deaf to the waves of poisoned arrows that continued to rain upon the barrier, pelting it from all sides. She didn't care. All too quickly, the numbed calm state she was in began to crumble and heavy sobs shook her.

She cried and screamed and voiced her pains to the heavens. The heavens answered by opening up and pouring down its own tears, a sudden freezing rain in the midst of a terrible battle.

_Take me with you. Please, let me stay with you forever._

Outside the rain and the arrows continued to fall. She couldn't tell the sounds apart anymore.

Meanwhile, Naruto fought furiously, having transformed several bunshins to help him cope with the overwhelming number of enemy nins. It was strange since Sasuke was usually by his side and together they would slowly wear down their opposition. He had sustained multiple small wounds. Nothing grave enough to slow him down, but enough to cover his jacket with gruesome blood splatters like the rest of the field.

He hoped that the girl, the person they were escorting, was still alive. He saw that she was alive a few moments ago when he caught a glimpse of her being guarded by a handful of his comrades before his view was cut off by the opposition. However, in battle anything could happen and right now, his wits were concentrated on analyzing the fighters in front of him and thinking up a quick strategy. He hoped that she could hang on for a few more moments; that was all the time he needed.

Suddenly the air was filled with the sound of a piteous wailing. It stunned his opponents long enough for him to render them unconscious. He rushed toward the source of the sound. Naruto knew it was her voice without even seeing her, but he prayed that it wasn't her.

He moved quicker than the eye could follow and saw her being swallowed up in a ball of earth. He saw him laying on the ground, her crying on top of him. There were arrow shafts sticking everywhere out of him. _Just like last time…_

The medic girl was also there too, clutching the frightened client behind her. Why wasn't she attending to Sasuke since he was obviously wounded and the girl looked merely scared and not hurt? His thoughts stopped him cold. She wouldn't have to attend to him because a dead person could not be saved.

Sasuke? Dead? They killed him? They killed Sasuke! Sasuke was dead?

The dirt engulfed the four, hiding them from his view. It didn't matter, he had seen enough. How could they kill Sasuke? Uchiha Sasuke was not supposed to die yet, not here, not now. He was supposed to live and cover Naruto's back, and the two would fight together as a team, like always.

Someone charged at him from his blindside. He knocked whoever it was without thinking.

His best friend was dead? The thought was impossible, the great Uchiha was never suposed to die. He was to live on forever in legend, even when he passed away quietly in his sleep many, many decades later. That's how it was supposed to go. The three of them would reach old age, even older than the Sannin. One of them would become Hokage, and the rest would stay in the village, replaying their younger days when they were too old to go out on missions. That was the dream.

What was she feeling now? He wasn't dense enough not to see them holding hands. It was a shock, but he supposed he should have seen it coming a long time ago. For her, the crush had turned into love somewhere along the way and for him, it was only a matter of how long he could keep away, hidden in his protective cocoon. Like a reluctant butterfly, he had finally come out, after all these years and now, while he was still testing his wings, he was blown away to the great unknown, unable to find his way back again.

_It wasn't fair. She had waited so long for happiness._

The arrows kept on pelting the soft earthen capsule that enclosed them. Soon, he knew the medic's limited chakra would run out, the walls were already starting to crumble. Her life was still in danger. He could save his, but he could save hers at least.

He ran, gathering kunais and light explosives in his hands, readying himself for a blitzkrieg. Unfiltered emotions raged in him, coursing through his veins, making him grip the hard cold handles tighter than necessary. They killed his friend, his brother.

He took a shuddery breath before pouncing, ambushing the hidden archers. They thought they were safe, being so far away from the battlefield. They didn't expect anyone to find them. He cried out in fury, slicing and cutting wildly. Blood and cries filled the air, his, theirs, everyone's.

They killed Sasuke. Damn them all.

* * *

_It was three weeks later when we finally buried Sasuke. _

The battered group returned to Konoha. There were many funerals that day. Many were lost and many wept bitterly at the news.

The mission was a success. The girl had made it alive to her destination.

The word rang hollow in the hallways and in her ears. Successful, completed. How could a mission be still stamped as successful when so many had died along the way? Was the lives of her comrade more important than one client? The mission should have been labeled a failure, a disaster. Success was a cheap word, paper-thin and worthless.

Sasuke's name was inscribed on that cenotaph as seen from many years ago. By now, a few familiar names were also etched on its shiny black surface, teachers and older friends. The funeral was a blur for her, faces and sounds intermixed into one confusing blob of nothingness. Only a single black stone stood out, hard and unmoving like death itself.

"We have come here to say goodbye to Uchiha Sasuke, a venerable warrior and honorable shinobi of the hidden village of leaf…" A bodiless voice droned on and on about the wonderful deeds of the Uchiha survivor. He became legend and the stuff every young genin should aspire to in that moment. For Sakura, he was cut out of her life, completely detached as if she never met him. Everything seemed like she was trapped in a strange nightmarish dream. The past three years muddled and grew dim. Sasuke became a beautiful rumor, lofty and unattainable again. He was so amazing that he had transcended the limits of mortality. She would remember him as a legendary hero, an idealized shinobi who died in the line of duty.

The touch of cold stone under her fingertips brought everything to life, to reality. His name was inscribed deep into the rock, forever to be imprinted there for generations to come, another nameless hero in a long list of nameless, selfless heroes. They were no longer people, but names to be learned, and forgotten.

Sakura touched Sasuke's name tenderly as she struggled to hold back a sob. It strangled in her throat and made it hard to breathe but that was the farthest thing from her mind.

The crowds were gone, slowly filtering away from this spot of despair and sorrow. Perhaps they couldn't take it, how everything here was permeated with the touch of sadness, from the trees to the blades of each leaf and the very air that swirled around like a restless spirit. Perhaps all they wanted to do was go back to their normal lives. She couldn't go back. Everything was so sudden and the thought occurred to her: how was she supposed to go on without him?

People who knew of her long devotion to Sasuke patted her on the back. A few gave her a quick hug before departing. Ino tried to coax Sakura into leaving with her, but Sakura refused, adamant in staying just a little longer. Ino nodded, knowing nothing she could say or do would move her. She left, a lingering glance over her shoulder at the pink-haired woman in front of the jet-black stone. She wanted to stay with her, somehow comfort her by saying useless things like how everything would be okay. How could they be when the one thing Sakura wanted the most was given to her and snatched away just as quickly? She walked away, hunched over with the emotional burden of the day. There were so many lost.

A single man stayed behind, staring hard at the newly turned earth, marking the spot where his friend was now buried. He looked up to see her. She was still there too. There was no one else left but the two of them. He wanted to go over and do something but was unsure of how to comfort her and himself in the lost of his dear friend. Everything was so unreal.

"Sasuke…" Sakura wept softly before collapsing on the ground, sobbing piteously. The initial pain was that of a thousand knifes slowly gouging her, continually stabbing her from all directions. However, that was nothing compared to the ache that stemmed from her heart, spreading across her entire body. It was like a fire that could not be put out by any amount of tears.

She vaguely comprehended the cool, damp sensation on her palms to mean that she was on the ground, weeping like a fool. At least there was no one else here to watch her breakdown. The insignificant consolation fled while images of Sasuke flooded her mind. She felt two strong arms pull her up and engulf her in a warm embrace, but she continued to cry for Sasuke.

Naruto held her in his arms, feeling like he was both the happiest and the saddest man alive. If only he was Sasuke, then Sakura would love him and he would love her and everything would be perfect. Yeah, perfect is for idiots, he chastised himself as tears he was too angry to shed before started to fall and mingle with Sakura's. The lost of Sasuke would haunt them both for a long time.

* * *

A/N- I can already feel the flames coming from Sasuke fans…well, if it makes you feel any better, I planned this since the beginning of this story, so it wasn't just a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing. Chapter one was more of a prologue than anything. Oh and I'm wondering what anyone thought of the semi-fight scenes- those are kind of a weak spot. Well, until next time. 


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